Crossword puzzle clue "read this if you like"

Well-read thing and some who read it

Puzzle where the same letters read across as read down

Comic who said "If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books"

What you were probably staring at right before you read this

“You don’t know about me without you have read a book by the name of ‘The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,’ but that ain’t no matter”

Important trial figure, or what you'll be when you read this puzzle's other four longest answers

What you may do after you ''read 'em''

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with ___": Homer Simpson