Crossword puzzle clue "the art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were"

"The art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were"

Early and influential stand-up comedian Mort who said, "Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen" haha I feel that

"Wish you were here—__ were there"

They'll feel you up before making a connection: Abbr.

Making a store sale feel really cheap?

Thé, basically