Crossword puzzle clue "try not to laugh after your friend farts at a funeral say"

Try not to laugh after your friend farts at a funeral, say

"Memoirs of a Geisha" author Arthur's farts and burps?

Brass instrument often compared to a whale's farts

Friend of a friend of a friend, perhaps

What your dog might do after eating his way through your linen closet, after aiming in and missing?

"Funeral for a Friend" John

Yell at your parents for not making the soup salty enough because your crush told you your mouth looks too funny to kiss, e.g.

Contest in which you try to get your opponent on your side